In this section, I bring together articles on questions that often arise even before someone asks for help: doubts that keep returning, decisions that never quite feel settled, relationship patterns that repeat, and forms of discomfort that are difficult to place.
You can think of these articles as a way of beginning to make some sense of experiences that can otherwise feel vague or difficult to put into words.
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How do we choose a therapist?
Choosing a therapist is rarely a purely practical decision. Even before the first session, certain questions, expectations, and very personal ways of looking for a place to speak may already begin to emerge. What do we hope to find when we seek help? What puts us at ease? And what kind of space do we need in order to begin putting into words what is happening to us?
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I feel like I give so much in my relationships… and yet it's never enough
There are relationships where, despite affection, involvement, and moments that seem close to what one hopes for, a difficult feeling keeps returning: as if it were never quite enough. Sometimes, more than around love itself, the relationship begins to revolve around what is still missing.
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Why does what I avoid come back?
Avoiding certain situations might seem like a way to protect yourself. If I don't go, if I don't say anything, if I don't expose myself, some of that familiar discomfort doesn't surface. And in part, that works. But when something keeps coming back, perhaps it's not just about what's happening outside, but about how that…
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Why do I find it hard to set boundaries even though I know I should?
There are situations where you know what you'd like to say, but it doesn't happen in the moment. It's not just a matter of character or being clear about what you want. Sometimes there's something at stake in the relationship with the other person that makes you give in again, even if you don't want to.