{"id":164,"date":"2026-05-10T18:19:54","date_gmt":"2026-05-10T18:19:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/?p=164"},"modified":"2026-06-01T13:33:20","modified_gmt":"2026-06-01T13:33:20","slug":"como-elegimos-terapeuta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/como-elegimos-terapeuta\/","title":{"rendered":"How do we choose a therapist?"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\"><strong>Sometimes, the search begins long before the first session<\/strong><\/pre>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>When something is no longer quite enough<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There isn't always a clear moment when someone decides to start therapy. Sometimes it doesn't happen after a major crisis or a particularly dramatic event. Often it begins much more quietly. A feeling that has been building up. A conversation that keeps coming back. A way of feeling that no longer quite fits into everyday life, even though from the outside everything seems relatively normal.<br>Some people spend months wondering whether or not to start. They might mention it to someone close to them, then move on, and come back to it weeks later. Sometimes they Google &quot;online psychologist&quot; and close the page immediately. Other times they browse profiles at night, read a bit, save a link, and tell themselves they&#039;ll look at it more carefully another day.<br>And, meanwhile, something persists.<br>Sometimes it's exhaustion. Other times anxiety. Or a hard-to-explain feeling of being trapped in something that keeps repeating itself. Some arrive worn out from constantly thinking. People who feel that every decision weighs too heavily on them. Others arrive after a long time trying to hold together situations they no longer know how to keep going. There are also those who simply feel that something isn't quite right, even though they can't explain exactly what.<br>In the midst of all that comes the search. And with it, a fairly common feeling: the idea that you have to make the right choice.<br>Because when someone starts thinking about seeing a therapist, they rarely feel that it doesn't really matter who they see. Although from the outside it might seem like a practical decision\u2014finding a professional, checking schedules, reading about areas of expertise\u2014there's often something much more intimate at stake.<br>Something that isn&#039;t always explicitly thought about, but that still greatly guides the search.<br>Because when someone seeks a therapist, they're usually not just looking for qualifications or a particular clinical approach. They're also looking for a certain feeling. A possibility. A way to imagine what it would be like to speak in that space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>What one hopes to find\u2026 even if it&#039;s not yet clear.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some people feel they need someone warm. Others look for someone direct. Some find relief when they encounter highly structured profiles, where everything seems clear and organized from the start. Others, however, quickly shy away from anything that feels too rigid or too technical.<br>Sometimes people seek a sense of closeness. Or the impression that they won&#039;t have to justify themselves too much to be understood. Some people need to feel they can talk without feeling constantly observed. Others greatly value a therapist who seems firm, clear, or even confrontational. Some people feel at ease when they imagine a very contained space; others need just the opposite, something less directed, less pre-arranged.<br>And although that often appears formulated in a simple way: \"I want someone I can connect with\", \"I want to feel comfortable\", \"I want someone who understands me\".<br>Sometimes it even becomes visible in small details that are difficult to explain rationally. One photo conveys a certain feeling, while another doesn&#039;t. One writing style inspires confidence, while another creates distance. Some profiles evoke a sense of relief even before a word has been spoken. Others generate immediate discomfort without one quite knowing why.<br>And perhaps that's where something interesting is already beginning to appear.<br>Not because there are right or wrong choices. Nor because one has to obsessively analyze every preference. When someone is going through a difficult time, it&#039;s natural for them to seek out what provides them with a sense of security or care. Often, that&#039;s what&#039;s needed to begin.<br>But that&#039;s precisely why it might be interesting to dwell a little on the question.<br>Not only: \u201cWhich therapist do I want?\u201d, but also: \u201cWhat do I need to find there in order to be able to talk?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Sometimes you seek relief. Sometimes something else.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some people come to therapy completely exhausted. Not necessarily because something extraordinary has happened to them, but because they feel they've been carrying something for too long that just doesn't seem to have a way out. People tired of thinking, worrying, constantly arguing about the same things, living with an anxiety that seems to change shape but never truly disappears.<br>Other times, the search seems more focused on feelilng understood. People who feel they've spent a long time trying to explain themselves to others without ever feeling truly understood. People accustomed to constantly translating, justifying, or adapting their feelings to make them acceptable or reasonable to others. And then the idea of finding a place where speaking doesn't require so much effort can become especially compelling.<br>There are also those who seek clarity. Not so much immediate emotional relief, but rather to make sense of something they find confusing. To understand what&#039;s happening to them. To be able to name something. To find an explanation that brings some order to the experience. And that&#039;s where a rather intense expectation often arises: the idea that there should be someone capable of quickly seeing what oneself still can&#039;t quite grasp.<br>In other cases, what seems most important is feeling safe. Not feeling judged too quickly. Not feeling like you&#039;re going to be uncomfortably exposed. Not feeling like you have to constantly prove that your suffering &quot;deserves&quot; to be heard.<br>And then things that might seem secondary from the outside start to become important: the therapist&#039;s age, gender, the tone of voice one imagines, the way of writing, the feeling of closeness, even something as difficult to explain as thinking &quot;I think I could talk to this person&quot;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Where does the search begin?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes the current search doesn't truly begin from scratch. Some people have been in therapy before and bring very different experiences. Some felt relief. Others felt supported for a while, but then a strange sense of stagnation appeared. There are those who feel they talked a lot for years, and yet something important always remained the same.<br>There are also people who left the process feeling too directed, too interpreted, or too alone in the sessions. Some felt they had to &quot;do it right,&quot; bring up interesting topics, move forward, prove something. Others simply stopped understanding what they were looking for there. And all of that often silently seeps into their new choice.<br>Because after a frustrating experience, it's quite common for someone to try to detect warning signs before starting again. As if certain details could predict what the whole relationship will be like. Then comes a much more meticulous reading of profiles, descriptions, and styles. Some people compare extensively before writing. Others need to quickly feel a certain level of trust quite quickly before they can reach out. Some immediately dismiss anything that reminds them of past experiences that didn't work out.<br>And that&#039;s not strange at all.<br>When someone tries to talk again after feeling disappointed, they&#039;re often not just looking for &quot;another therapist.&quot; They&#039;re also trying to imagine if things can be different this time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>There are questions that don&#039;t appear at the beginning.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At first, the urgency often takes up almost all the space. To resolve something. To feel better. To stop suffering so much. To be able to make a decision. To understand what&#039;s happening. To regain some peace of mind.<br>And that is perfectly legitimate.<br>Once that stage is over, other issues sometimes begin to arise that are not always so clearly formulated from the beginning, and they may even make us question the meaning or continuity of the therapy.<br>Because when someone imagines what it would be like to talk to a therapist, they also begin to imagine something about the relationship itself. About how they expect to be received. About how much they need to feel understood. About how much space they need before confiding. About how important it is to feel closeness or distance. About what things they find unbearable when someone is listening to them.<br>And often that doesn&#039;t appear as a clear idea. Rather, it&#039;s felt.<br>It's felt in the sense of ease that one profile brings and another doesn't. In the need for someone to seem warm. Or serious. Or clear. Or flexible. Or intelligent. Or human. Or firm.<br>Sometimes someone simply feels: &quot;this profile conveys something to me.&quot;.<br>And perhaps it's not necessary to fully explain what that something is. But it might be interesting to start asking ourselves what role that feeling plays for each of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>What puts us at ease also says something<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some people feel a great deal of relief when they find someone who seems to sort things out quickly. Others feel relief when they imagine they can talk without being interrupted or immediately directed. Some need to feel that the therapist will know how to support them. Others need to feel that they won&#039;t be overly intrusive.<br>And all of that probably says something important about how each of us needs to approach the other when something hurts. Not necessarily as a problem. Nor as something that needs fixing. Rather, as a very unique way of seeking support, a listening ear, understanding, or space. Because what comforts someone is rarely entirely accidental.<br>That's why, perhaps, the search for a therapist can stir up so much even before the first session. And when it comes time to choose, another question becomes possible: what kind of place is this therapist inviting me into?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>&nbsp;\u201cWith this person, yes\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Although it's often seen as a practical decision, choosing a therapist usually also has an emotional component. Because, deep down, there's something very intimate about choosing who to talk to about things that can sometimes be difficult even to think through on one's own.<br>Someone with whom things can be said differently. Someone with whom you don&#039;t have to be so concerned about how your words will be received. Someone who understands something important without needing to explain absolutely everything. And although phrased this way it might sound exaggerated, we probably all have some of that hope when we seek help. Not necessarily as a naive illusion of finding someone perfect, but as the deeply human desire that the encounter with another person might produce something different.<br>Sometimes it comes in the form of enthusiasm. Other times as relief. Some people even feel a slight sense of calm simply from reading a profile.  As if imagining the possibility of talking there already sets something in motion.<br>And perhaps there's some truth to that too. Because some relationships, even before they begin, can already start to open up a possible space for speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>No relationship is fully known from the start<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then, of course, things are usually much more complex than one imagines at first.<br>No profile can fully predict what it will be like to talk to someone. No description guarantees how the connection will develop. And often, the most important aspect of a process isn&#039;t revealed in the first impression or the immediate feeling of &quot;fitting in.&quot;.<br>Some encounters feel very comfortable at first and later become difficult. Others initially create some discomfort and, over time, begin to open up something valuable. Sometimes trust comes very quickly. Other times they need quite a bit of time to start speaking freely.<br>And none of that necessarily means that a choice was right or wrong. Because relationships can rarely be fully known before they exist.<br>Perhaps the important question is not so much about trying to be completely sure what the meeting will be like, but about starting to listen to what each person hopes to find there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Perhaps something important begins there<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not when \u201cthe perfect therapist\u201d finally appears, nor when someone becomes completely certain that they have chosen well, but when the search stops being only a race to get it right and also becomes a way of asking what kind of place each person needs in order to truly begin to speak.<br>Because sometimes, even before the first session, there is already something trying to be said in the way someone seeks to be heard.<br>And perhaps it's not only about what I'm looking for in order to begin, but also about what I need in order to stay a little longer in a place where I still don't fully understand what is happening to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Choosing a therapist is rarely a purely practical decision. Sometimes, even before the first session, certain questions, expectations, and very personal ways of seeking a place to talk begin to emerge. What do we hope to find when we seek help? What things bring us comfort? And what kind of space do we need to begin to talk about what&#039;s happening to us?<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":117,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=164"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":332,"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164\/revisions\/332"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marianogarciapsicologo.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}